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Best Little Witch-House in Arkham, by Mark McLaughlin
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In the BEST LITTLE WITCH-HOUSE IN ARKHAM, a feast of Lovecraftian nightmares has been set out for you. Here you will savor a delectable variety of otherworldly blasphemies ... twenty-five meaty tales of the bizarre, enough to satisfy even your most eldritch appetites.
Here you will learn about the unspeakable beauty regimen of the loathsome Mrs. Hamogeorgakis. You will discover the vile secrets of Kugappa, the writhing octopus-god, and Ghattambah, a grotesque insect deity whose soul dwells beyond time.
You will drink the creamy Milk of Time, an unholy substance which flows through the depths of a forbidden house known as Der Fleischbrunnen. You will find all of these mouth-watering horrors and more, much more. Bon appétit....
- Sales Rank: #921683 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-06-07
- Released on: 2013-06-07
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Author Mark McLaughlin's latest releases are the story collections, HIDEOUS FACES, BEAUTIFUL SKULLS and BEST LITTLE WITCH-HOUSE IN ARKHAM, and the two-author poetry collection, REVENGE OF THE TWO-HEADED POETRY MONSTER (with Michael McCarty).
Other recent works by McLaughlin include the story collection BEACH BLANKET ZOMBIE, the collaborative collection PARTNERS IN SLIME(with Michael McCarty), and the collaborative horror novel, MONSTER BEHIND THE WHEEL (with Michael McCarty).
Mark's fiction, nonfiction, and poetry have appeared in more than 1,000 magazines, newspapers, websites, and anthologies, including DARK FUSIONS: WHERE MONSTERS LURK!, GALAXY, LIVING DEAD 2, WRITER'S DIGEST, CEMETERY DANCE, MIDNIGHT PREMIERE, DARK ARTS, and two volumes of YEAR'S BEST HORROR STORIES (DAW Books).
Mark is the coauthor, with Rain Graves and David Niall Wilson, of THE GOSSAMER EYE, which won the 2002 Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in Poetry. He also writes a blog on cinematic horror and other dark topics called BMovieMonster.
What critics and colleagues have said about Mark McLaughlin's work over the years:
"In the most devious manner, McLaughlin's stories achieve a high degree of demonism by perpetuating a sinister 'humor' at the gallows of the human comedy."
-- Author Thomas Ligotti
"Listen up. Noel Coward is back. Salvador Dali is back. Dylan Thomas is back. And they're all rolled into one in the shape of Mark McLaughlin who writes stories that are wonderfully witty, surrealistic and ineffably strange. Absolutely fabulous. .... If your palette is jaded, come to the feast that is Mark McLaughlin."
-- Author Simon Clark
"McLaughlin's tales are laugh-out-loud assaults on consensus reality."
-- Paul Di Filippo, ASIMOV'S
"Reading Mark McLaughlin is a little like stepping out of the door of an airplane in mid flight. The view is pretty amazing, but the shock of impact may do you in ... gruesome, funny and touching. Top that: anybody...."
--Matthew Nadelhaft, TANGENT
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
H.P. Is Rolling Over & Giggling In His Grave
By Bruce J Blanchard
Back then, H.P. Lovecraft was plying his stories to the pulp market and centering their locale around the eldritch haunted town of Arkham, just another writer trying to make his fortune. He built up a following around some of the best writers in the horror business including the likes of Robert Bloch, Clark Ashton Smith, Robert E. Howard and many others who fashioned their stories around the Old Ones, those monstrous beings seeking to return and impart their own version of madness. He died and his stories almost died with him except for the devoted determined to keep alive the cult of Cthulhu, Nyarlethotep, the dreaded Necronomicon, and Arkham University. Today, almost every horror writer seeks to add his own story. Most of the stories are serious in writing about the Hounds of Hell, haunted witch houses, midnight rituals, and the mysterious inhabitants at Innsmouth. And now, let me present to you Mark McLaughlin's additions which promises, no lie!, to make you giggle, guffaw, and snort milk out your nose or which ever potable you're drinking. The humor in the book may see spurts out your ears. Isn't that an image?
Mr. McLaughlin's Best Little Witch-House is a collection of 25 stories taking what we have today, mixing in that little swirl of H.P. and coming up with the likes of Cthulhu Royale (Bond), Hound-Dog McGee (Scooby Doo), Tony Tar-Pit and Monkey-Face Joe (the Flintstones), When We Was Flab (the Beatles). You'll run across a wonderful place to stay, Pickman's Motel. Attend the healings at St. Toad's Medical Center (you've seen the commercials). Try this title on for size: The Slivering Quiver of the River Lizard's Twisted Liver-Blisters. I have nothing but Praise for the stories in this collection. These are stories mixed with the serious and take a left turn into the absurd. If it was possible, H.P. Lovecraft would be involuntarily giggling. Download this treasure. The stories don't run long. For the true fans of Lovecraft out there, The Best Little Witch-House is one bringing out your laughter. For those unacquainted with his works, check out the genre and get a good laugh yourself. You will not go wrong in downloading this book.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
THE FUNNIEST WRITER HE KNOWS
By Charles Justus Garard
One must be knowledgeable about the writings of American horror author H. P. Lovecraft in order to understand the allusions and references employed by comic writer Mark McLaughlin. However, there are many aficionados of Lovecraft's work: fans who like suspense and terror, literary scholars who appreciate an author's use of the language (images, figures of speech like metaphors, schools of literary criticism like Freudianism, Jungian archetypes, feminism, etc), and those loyal followers who see him as a spiritual leader of a dark universe filled with multiple dimensions, worlds within worlds, and grotesque monsters. All of these groups may chuckle at the fun that McLaughlin is having at Lovecraft's expense except for the latter group; the devoted followers or groupies may be offended by his shameless lampooning of story titles, character names, creature names (Shoggy Dearest? C'mon now), and his use of names of locations from the Lovecraft canon.
McLaughlin not only unleashes his arsenal of Lovecraftisms but pokes fun at James Bond characters with such names as W (for M, Bond's superior), Goldflutter, and The Man with the Silver Spear Gun. He even combines the two with the invented name of Bondcraft.
As a writer and as an individual, McLaughlin apparently does not take himself seriously. Chat with him on Facebook and you will find him armed with quips and retorts like a modern Oscar Wilde, drawing from his bloated bag of bon mots. This book of short stories reminds us of how Ray Bradbury published his own short stories within titles such THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES, THE ILLUSTRATED MAN, and DANDELION WINE. Whether you find his humor to be heavy-handed or fiendishly clever (or both at times), you will agree that he is a skillful writer. His credentials, stated at the back of the book, are impressive, as is his number of publishing accomplishments. Only occasionally does he throw out a lazy sentence with weak verbs such as "Kyle got out of the car, so Melinda got out, too." and "Melinda realized that these two old freaks were as scary as Hell." How scary is that?
Speaking of scary, I must add add that if you are looking for a frightening reading experience, you might be better served by reading one or more of the many Lovecraft followers or imitators (depending upon your point of view). You can find some of them listed (and reviewed) on Amazon.
As for BEST LITTLE WITCH-HOUSE IN ARKHAM, you will find that Mark is his book and his book is Mark. You may find it difficult to separate the two. When I was much younger, friends and I used to say that we were the funniest guys we knew. Maybe Mark used to say that too. Or maybe he still does. Anyway, he must be an interesting writer to know in person as well as on Facebook.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Clever, Witty, and humorous fiction from beyond time and space !
By Sleeplessjim
This is a delightful collection of Lovecraftian themes short stories with a humorous twist. If you enjoy Lovecraft or any type of weird fiction where the writing is funny and very clever, don't miss this one.
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